Living through the hardest thing I've ever done, A SECOND TIME.

Well, I served in the military for close to six years. During that time I was in Iraq where I was injured and then sent home where I went through a year and a half of grueling physical therapy and then a medical evaluation board to see if I was fit for service. They decided no, and released me. Ever since then I have gradually started to succumb to the effects of PTSD. I has gotten to the point of seclusion and retraction from even family events. When I went to the V.A. to get my son claimed as a dependant I was told that I should claim my PTSD. I need the care that is given by the medical field and don't necessarily have the means of paying for it all.
I sent my letter to the V.A. and they sent me a packet illustrating the things that they needed in order to find out whether or not I would be able to claim my PTSD as a service connected incident, like I had had any other stressors to cause it. Well, I filled out the paperwork and had some family members write some letters and wrote a letter about some experiences, the least painful to live through. I received a packet back saying that they needed more information.
I contacted my friend who works for the V.A. and asked what I should do and he suggested that I contact the Veterans of Foreign Wars or Disabled American Veterans or someone who might know more about what is needed. I had an appointment and took my dad with me, because we were going to prune some trees afterward. The counselor started talking about what was needed and told me that I had to, "RETURN TO THE DARKEST PLACES." Not my idea of a good time not even a little bit. At one point during her random questions she started asking about things I had experienced telling me that I need to write about that. I was overcome with an overwhelming urge, I can't say exactly what it was but I just wanted to run away and cry.
My dad was able to get the information and ideas on how I was to accomplish this improbable task. Now all I need to do is try to find a way to crawl into the deepest darkest parts of my brain and memory and try to wrench out those things that I have tried hard to bury. I am supposed to set a timer and then only hit this endeavor at 5 minute increments. I think that I may try to keep a record of all of the experiences and put them in a book about my time. Like there aren't enough disgruntled ex military writing books.
Well for anyone who happens upon this blog hopefully the next few posts don't make you think I'm a wiener or scare you, which I doubt they will. The whole experience was really a lot more stressful while in the situation.

Yea Twice In One Month!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK, I am really trying hard to get back into the whole writing thing. If you are reading this then you will probably know my wife Lauren her blog is much more up to date and if you wish to fill in some of the more important gaps that exist in my blog then you can check out her blog. Really I am just hoping to create an out in the everyday stresses of the world, not really sure if this will do it but we'll see. I have started back into school and it is fairly difficult enough to keep my brain stimulated at least but hopefully not too much, I tried the whole 15 credit thing in the spring and with Erich being born and that being the busy time at the nursery it was quite a horrible choice. I survived somehow and kept plugging along. This semester is proving to be less hectic but still stimulating. I am taking Woody plant materials, which covers exactly that, WOODY PLANTS. It's mostly just memorizing the taxonomy of plants and their more specific details. This class will really be the basis for my whole Landscaping template. I am also taking Turf Management. I dabbled a little in this art last year when I attempted to re sod my yard. This class will be geared more to the golf course turf management but then who doesn't want a yard to look as pristine that it would be mistaken for the 9Th green at the Old Course at St. Andrews course in Scotland. Wednesdays is Weed Management which is like the woody plants class but just on weeds, so a ton of memorizing. Then I have Graphics. Now up till this point all of my classes are fairly straight forward and easy however, this class has me scared to death, I couldn't draw a straight line with a ruler I'm so horrible, but with a famous graphic designer grandpa at my side I should do fine, or so that famous grandpa of mine says. WE'LL SEE. The last class is a Horticulture Orientation class which is very boring only because the places that we go I either already know most of what they talk about or it is obvious what they are going to talk about. Not too difficult a lot of memorizing and some writing but all in all not too horrible. We'll see if I survive.
With all of this going on I barely have time for my little boy or my wife but at least I get to spend one day a week watching the little man and then Sundays is for hanging out with the wifey. Television is going to take a hit though. I guess though, that too much television can rot your brain away. Hopefully I can keep this going and won't have to refer you, the reader, to my wife's blog.

I AM HORRIBLE AT THE WHOLE BLOGGING THING

So, it's almost been a year since I have written in my blog. So much has happened since the last time I wrote. Lauren had the baby LITTLE ERICH BENJAMIN, he is exactly what our little family needed. He has brought so much joy to both Lauren and I, he has helped me so much with my anxiety he talks to me and helps me through small fits, he is an amazing little guy. I have been trucking along with school, I have 4 semesters left and then I'll have to go out into the world of Landscape Design and find my place. With all of the classes and everything I am starting to get a bit excited about it all. I started graphics design class which is drafting and architecture based class. I will be learning how to DRAW, honestly I am quite nervous because I do not know how to draw for beans. The professors assure me that we will start little and build hopefully they are correct. This class will take quite a new array of tools. It's all very exciting having a grandpa that has dabbled in the art of design.
With the new season of growth this year it has brought new thoughts on my yard. I have brought in an annual and perennial bed. I have let Lauren do the annual bed because of the my difficulties with informal gardening patterns. I have also decided to turn my front yard into a golfing fairway. I want to make it pristine carpet of green, one that the greens keepers at the Old Course at St. Andrews would be proud of. Having found a new desire for the care of my turf and yard I have been able to find the desire to help other yards look as good. My other classes are so far proving to be interesting, weeds, woody plants, turf, these should be fun.
Well, in the pursuit of updating I will save some for tomorrow.

HAIR CUT HAIR CUT HAIR CUT

OK, so 6 months to the day of my agreement with Jaren about our hair, I finally caved in. The beard was shorn to a quite short length, and the hair was cut quite drastically. I spent UEA weekend with the scouts down at Goblin Valley and when I came home and when I went to wash my beard and usually when I wash it is just soap and water. This time it was soap, water, and tons and tons of sand. Also my hair, it was atrocious. I couldn't take it anymore so Sunday night IT ALL CAME OFF.
So last week I took the scouts to Goblin Valley. We left on Wednesday at around 4, it was my dad bringing his motor home, the 2ND counselor in the bishopric from one of the wards in the stake, then two Venturers from my ward and then one more boy from the 25Th ward. We arrived in Goblin Valley later Wednesday night we all set up tents, well the boys and I, my dad and Guy Marler slept in the motor home. Thursday we got up and had breakfast and then asked my dad where Little Wild Horse Canyon was. He was sure that it was directly north of us. After walking for about 30 to 45 minutes my dad realized that Little Wild Horse was more to the west of us. We returned to the motor home and drove down the road and finally found the trail head. It was amazing there were three parking lots and bathrooms and a big old information board and a guest registration book. We hiked up the slot canyon to the top where it turns into Bell Canyon which isn't a slot canyon. It was really cool I haven't been there for a long time so it was really nice to be able to returned and hike all the way to the top. We came back and started making dinner, they were aluminum foil dinners. Then we went to the Valley of the Goblins at night. I had never been there at night that I can remember so it was really cool to see everything all lit up from the full moon.
Friday we woke up and went over to the Goblins again. We spent all day roaming around the valley. My dad went down a few years ago with Jaren, my brother, and they found another valley of goblins and so we went down and found it again then we kept going south and we hiked up on one of the taller plateaus to get a better look and found that there were four different valleys. I was impressed with how many different locations there were and how different they all looked. After quite a few hours of climbing and sliding and throwing sand clods at each other we went back and started making dinner. Tonight we were having little smokies in barbecue sauce. We cooked them in a dutch oven and then started peach cobbler. Since my dad brought the motor home we had vanilla ice cream as well. It was a really good meal. Saturday we woke up and went out search for some old Uranium mines. Most of them were cemented in but the boys found one that wasn't, so we climbed in and started exploring. After an hour or so we turned back and found our way back out. We then returned home. We had a really good time and so did the boys.

Celebrity Collage by MyHeritage

http://www.myheritage.com/collage

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Lineage - Roots

NEW LAWN NEW LAWN NEW LAWN NEW LAWN

So, we have lived in this house in Kearns now for 20 months now. We moved in in December so everything was covered in snow and couldn't really tell what the yard looked like. When spring came around I didn't really focus on the yard a whole lot because I wanted to try and use what was already there, which really wasn't a lot. Most of it was weeds and a bit of lawn. Well after hearing about and changing my degree to Horticulture and studying lawns and getting my job at Western Gardens I got fed up with trying to seed and water and seed and water. I took a different approach this year. I started with trying to kill everything off and start over. I then left it for a while to grow and what was killed let deteriorate away. A week ago I sprayed again and down a big killing. I ordered 4 pallets of sod from work and took the opportunity of Lauren being gone camping with her mom to lay the sod. Lauren came home a day early, because of rain and snow up in the High Uintahs, to a new lawn. It is an amazing feeling to go from dead weeds and dirt to a brand spanking new spread of lawn. I love it so much. I now can have people over to hang out and not feel so dumb with my dead front yard. I only need to get a fence on my east side and then my front yard will be done for the year. Next year I will put down a hedge and some flowers and my yard will be worthy of being called the house of a Landscape Designer.
My classes from USU are really interesting. I have a four hour soil class that should be very interesting. I already have homework for every week it's quite extensive. My chemistry class is going to be a breeze. I only need to keep on top of everything with homework and the readings. My Horticulture class is going to be awesome. It is on a Wednesday night and so every fourth Wednesday there is a Bonsai Club meeting and I explained this to him and he was extremely cool. He was all for the missing of classes. I really hope that I can stay on top of everything. Well I'm off for now hopefully I can get some pictures of my new yard.

Man I Suck At This Game

Well I guess that my dad was right. I am not very good at trying to keep up with me life on the web. It's just so hard though with life and everything going on. I work everyday but Thursday and Sunday from 930 to 630 (I know that for some of you reading this that that is not early or anything) Then Mondays is family night. Tuesdays is Scouts, Wednesday is Racquetball with the Ol' Man, Thursday Friday and Saturday are date nights with Lauren. Somehow I always seem to be filled with random crap that shouldn't really take up that much time. Tonight I actually got some planting done that needed to be done. Lauren is starting to learn how to do the planting and things so she helps with the yard. She pulled all of the weeds along the Chain link fence, so now I just need to find a Vine that would go good there to fill in because the fence is so unwelcoming. We are starting to get some plans together for the house. Lauren is trying to get some plans for the bathroom, while I am trying to plan the garage. I have a buddy that is going to help me so it should be quite nice. CHEAP too. So this past week has been sort of a high school reunion for me. I go to lunch most days with Jake Shafizadeh, one of my good buddies from school. He is in contact with some other people that we went to high school with and so slowly they are joining for lunch every once in a while. I had lunch with my good buddy, Matt Taylor, he has joined the Marines and is scheduled to go to Iraq in March so we spent the hour talking about how "AWESOME" it was. haha. I warned him about things and me being in the Army we talked about how the, hate between services, really is. I told him that there is some fun making but when it comes down to it we all get along.
It has been really good seeing all of these guys it is interesting to see what they are up too and how everyone has changed. When the High School reunion comes around it will be funny to go. Hopefully everyone is out of their clicks and is just into life. The 5 year was kind of bogus. Everyone was still in their own little clicks still and what kind of cars they had and what their jobs were it really made me feel dumb because a lot of everyone had graduated from college with some type of degree and here I am, been married for a year or so and not even started college. It was really kind of depressing that people still make those kinds of judgmental decisions. Well until next time Keep your stick on the ice.